


Satisfied

by rukas_mama



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Hamilton AU, Hamilton Lyrics, Heartbreak, I actually made myself sad writing this, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Lance/Shiro, Pain, Song Lyrics, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 10:06:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11484123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rukas_mama/pseuds/rukas_mama
Summary: Shiro gives a toast at his brother, Kuro's, wedding. It brings out memories he had tried and failed to bury and forget. It breaks his heart to see it, but he knows Kuro loves him. What else can he do? As the good big brother he is he can only smile and toast to the hope that they will always be satisfied.AKA The Hamilton AU for Voltron that no one asked for. I might actually make a whole series for this because it was actually really fun but also very painful and difficult.





	Satisfied

"Alright, alright, let's give it up for the best man! Shiro!" Hunk exclaimed with a grin as he raised his glass. He turned his gaze to Shiro, just as everyone else did. No one could see the pain in his smile, then again no one bothered looking for it.

"A toast to the groom!" Shiro said as he looked at Lance, standing from his seat with his own glass raised. Lance looked so happy beside his brother. His eyes were so bright, so full of life and...love.

To the groom. 

To the groom.

To the groom.

It echoed in his head, seeming like an unhelpful background singer to him at the moment. "To the bride!" He said, ignoring that ache in his chest as he sent a teasing wink to his brother who rolled his eyes but showed a smile so bright there was no way he felt anything but amusement. Kuro was so happy, so damn happy. He could see it, could feel it.

To the bride.

To the bride.

To the bride.

Once again those unhelpful background singers echoed in his head, causing that pain to grow, to spread throughout his chest. "From your brother, who is always by your side!" The brother's smiles grew as Shiro continued his toast. "To your union, and the hope that you provide." Now both Lance and Kuro were smiling widely and damn it did that hurt. Why did their happiness have to hurt so damn much?

"May you always..." He watched as the newlyweds shared a loving smile. "Be satsified.." He said, his smiling faltering ever so slightly. That pain had spread throughout his whole body. He was numb from head to toe, aching as he tried to force his smile.

Shiro could remember that night, see it clearly even now.

I just might regret it for the rest of my days, he thought as he watched the party run backwards until that fateful moment. The moment that had forever changed his life.

He walked through the party as if it was that day, falling into the role he'd been playing that evening. "I remember those soldiers boys, tripping over themselves to win our praise." He said as he watched said boys do exactly that, smiling a little as they flirted and tried their best to seem charming. He laughed quietly as they stumbled over each other just for a chance to talk to the Shirogane brothers.

"I remember that dreamlike candlelight.." He said as he turned his attention away from them, eyes roaming the brightly lit room. He remembered the way the candlelight shined in such a way that made it all seem like a dream. People danced and laughed, everyone seeming to fall into place like pieces of a puzzle, but there was one piece that stuck out above the rest.

"But Lance, I'll never forget the first time I saw your face." He said as time stopped once more, but in a completely different way than before. Time froze the moment he saw Lance, as if the world was trying to direct them towards each other. His eyes met Lance's, met those bright eyes and that bright smile. It was so full of confidence, not just in the way he looked but the way he held himself. He held himself like a man who knew what he was doing and what he was fighting for.

"I have never been the same since I saw those intelligent eyes." He said with a fond smile as he searched those eyes. There were questions there, millions of questions but also millions of answers all hidden behind their own doors that were just waiting to be opened for their secrets to be spilled. Secrets Shiro would never know.

Shiro strode across the room to Lance, his own sort of confidence held in his walk. "You strike me as a man that has never been satisfied." Lance all but purred. There was that smirk, that damn handsome smirk that Shiro loved and hated at the same time. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean." Shiro replied, raising an eyebrow slightly in both confusion and slight amusement. "You're like me. I'm never satisfied." Against all odds, those simple words made Shiro's heart swell. Like me, he'd said.

"Is that right?" Shiro said with an amused little chuckle and Lance's smirk only widened into a grin. "I'm never satisfied." The confidence with which he said it only made Shiro's heart soar higher. "My name is Takashi Shirogane. Please, call me Shiro." He said as he held out a hand to the strange and captivating soldier. There was that charming smile again, so bright and unrestrained. "Lance Mcclain." He said, shaking his hand firmly. 

"Where's your family from?" It was just a friendly conversation but Lance was quick to wave away the question. "Unimportant, but there's a million things I haven't done. Just you wait, you'll see all that I can do." He was so confident, so unnecessarily confident, or maybe it was necessary. Regardless, Shiro found it attractive. Still, Shiro knew his words were important. They revealed an important detail to him that changed the course of everything between them.

They continued to converse, matching wits and laughing even as they held an intellectual conversation. Lance was just so different from the other boys, he was exactly the sort of boy he was searching for, craving to find that connection with. 

So this is what it felt like to match wits with someone at your level. But what was the catch? Oh that's right, he knew the catch already, but he wanted to enjoy it for a little longer. This freedom given to him in the form of words, flowing so easily between the two of them it was like a dance. There was still one glaring fault that he knew he couldn't overlook. 

When asked about his family Shiro had seen the signs. He had seen the way he fidget, waving a hand dismissively before he began to wring his fingers. His hands clenched and unclenched before coming together and holding on tight as if that would change the secrets he was hiding. He was penniless.

Handsome boy, does he know it.

Oh Lance knew it, he could tell Lance knew it just from the way he held himself. However, it wasn't just a matter of looks with him, he had the brains to go with it. He wasn't a one trick pony, didn't let his status hold him back. He backed himself up with his own wits and intelligence.

I want to take him far away from this place, Shiro found himself thinking. Far away from this fighting and war. Far away where they could be safe and learn from their mistakes. Then he turned and saw his brother's face and he was....

Helpless.

"And I know he is..." He found himself whispering.

Helpless. 

"And his eyes are just.." Kuro had an expression Shiro had never seen before. His eyes were so bright in a way that they never were. He didn't look snarky and sarcastic like he usually did, ready to match someone in a battle of his own wits. No, he looked absolutely...

Helpless.

"And I realize three fundamental truths at the exact same time.." With a smile, holding himself a little taller, but also a little more tensely, Shiro took Lance's hand in his own. This wasn't the way he wanted to hold his hand. He began to lead him along wordlessly until Lance's curiosity couldn't be contained any longer, which was really only after a few steps. 

"Where are you taking me?" He asked and Shiro grinned. "I'm about to change your life." Lance was grinning again, so widely Shiro was sure it would split his cheeks. "Then by all means, lead the way." He said with a hum that was bordering flirtatious. It sent shivers down Shiro's spine that he promptly ignored.

Number one.

Shiro was boy in a world in which his only job was to marry rich. He was the oldest son so he was the one that had to climb the social ladder to keep their family up. Lance was penniless, not that there was anything wrong with that, but he had to aim higher. That didn't mean he wanted him any less.

Shiro navigated the crowd easily as he lead Lance. His brothers familiar figure came into view as they grew closer. He could see him laughing, could practically feel his smile even though they weren't facing each other just yet. Shiro pulled him a long a little faster and turned his brothers attention to them. 

"Kuro Shirogane. It's a pleasure to meet you." Kuro said with a smile that was unlike any other that Shiro had seen on his brothers face. He looked caught off guard but pleased despite it all. Of course he was pleased, he was helpless. "Shirogane?" Lance repeated, a single eyebrow raised in confusion as he looked at Shiro. "My brother." Shiro replied, a sense of pride in his voice as he put his hand on Kuro's shoulder. He was most definitely proud of him. His family was his pride and joy and it was his duty to protect them.

Number two.

Lance was after him because he's a Shirogane brother. He was after the status just like everyone else was. He'd have to be naive to set that aside, but maybe that's why he introduces him to Kuro. Now that's his bride, nice going Shiro. Lance was right. Shiro would never be satisified.

"Thank you for all your service." Kuro said, a charming smile of his own. The damn flirt, he was already laying down the pieces. He was already laying down the foundation for their relationship. "If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it." Lance took Kuro's hand in his own, raising it to his lips where he pressed a soft kiss to the lightly tanned skin.

Oh. 

Lance was a flirt too. It didn't surprise him at all since he'd witnessed this flirting firsthand, but to know his flirting was directed at his brother and not at Shiro himself made his heart clench and ache in ways that he absolutely hated. "I'll leave you to it." Instead of taking the attention away for himself like the selfish and jealous side of him wanted to do, he did the complete opposite. He sent his brother an encouraging wink before he turned and walked away, his shoulders heavy with the weight of his decision.

Number three.

Shiro knew his brother like he knew his own mind. They were so close it was impossible for them not to be able to read each other, but he knew Kuro couldn't read him in this moment. There was no one as trusting or as kind as his brother. Under that prickly and sarcastic exterior Kuro was nothing but a big softy, one that Shiro promised himself he would protect. Even so, Shiro couldn't help but find himself thinking that if he told Kuro he loved Lance he'd be silently resigned. Lance would be his. Kuro would say, "I'm fine."

He'd be lying.

When Shiro fantasized at night he found himself thinking about one think in particular. Those eyes. Lance's eyes. They were so full of life, so bright and young despite the weight of everything he'd seen. He couldn't help but romanticize what it might have been like if he hadn't sized him up so quickly, if he hadn't realized that Lance was penniless and in search of a status boost. At least his dear Kuro would be his husband. 

"At least I can keep his eyes in my life..." Shiro whispered as he closed his eyes. Every step he took away from Kuro and Lance felt heavy, felt like it was a weight he couldn't lift and continue to carry. 

Just like that time went forward again. The world around him shattered, hitting the ground in shards like broken glass. It all fast fowarded to that night again. This night. The night that would be one of the most painful of his life. He felt as if he was being shoved into the present, forced to face the reality of the situation. 

As if no time had passed at all, everyone watched Shiro with bright eyes as they waited for him to say his speech. Forcing the memories away, he forced a wide and brilliant smile.

With tears in his eyes, he spoke. "To the groom!" He yelled, eyes glassy and wet.

To the groom.

To the groom.

To the groom.

Those words were echoing again, but this time they struck a nerve. "To the bride!" He said and once again sent a teasing and playful smile followed by a wink to his amused brother. To his brother that would never be the wiser to his feelings.

"From your brother, who is always by your side!" There were cheers from everyone but he ignored them. His tears were threatening to fall. It took all his strength to hold them in as he forced back the pain and smiled.

"To your union and the hope that you provide!" He raised his glass a little higher and so did everyone else, mimicking his movement, mimicking the joy he presented to them. 

Everyone around him was starting to blur out of existence, fading one by one. All the familiar faces keeping him grounded disappeared until only two were left. The two he wasn't yet ready to face.

"May you always be satisfied." Once again the newlyweds shared a loving smile and quiet giggles. "And I know he'll be happy as his bride.." Shiro whispered. "And I know..."

Lance looked away from Kuro, meeting his eyes. They shared a look. Lance had a grateful and happy look in his eyes, one Shiro knew wasn't meant for him. It wasn't a look of love, he wouldn't let himself even think that it was. It was a look of thanks. For changing his life, just as he'd said he would. It wasn't just Lance's life he'd changed, it was his own as well.

"He will never be satisfied. I...will never be satisfied." Shiro whispered before raising his glass once again. When did he lower his drink? It must've been when he'd lost himself in those eyes yet again. Those eyes that wouldn't be his.

"I will never be satisfied." He said as he tore his gaze away. His vision was blurred with the tears that were just seconds away from falling. 

"I will never be satisfied."

And with that, he drank.


End file.
